


forgive me, for i have sinned

by cabriestars (cabriesun)



Series: shance support week [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Fluff, M/M, Overwhelming Love, Smut, minor minor angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 13:14:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14136777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabriesun/pseuds/cabriestars
Summary: Lance fucks up. He fucks up royally, and everyone knows it and has forgiven him but he can’t bring himself to. He doesn’t know why he can’t do anything right, and he isn’t sure if he’ll be able to figure it out without having a breakdown.Or the one where Lance can’t forgive himself alone.





	forgive me, for i have sinned

**Author's Note:**

> it's late (for good reasons), but day three for shance support week!
> 
> thanks to haley and ev for beta-ing!
> 
> for day three: _hold my hand_  
>  [SFW or **NSFW** ]

“Lance, what the hell were you thinking out there?! Where were you aiming, the _sky_?! You could have killed us out there--”  
  
“ _Keith._ ”  
  
The badgering from the Red Paladin stops at the ringing of Shiro’s harsh tone, displeased and unbeatable. This is an argument that Keith can’t win, and thank _god_ he can’t. Lance’s shitty feeling had escalated from a little shitty to inescapably shitty after five words out of his mouth.  
  
“Yelling isn’t progressive in any way, and I’m sure Lance is already startingly aware of his errors out there today. Everyone just…cool off. Hit the showers, do whatever you need to do to relax.”  
  
He opens his mouth to argue his superior, but Shiro cuts him off before he can get the chance.  
  
“ _Go_.”  
  
His face falls, anger shaping quickly into annoyance towards not only Lance but Shiro as well.  
  
“Whatever.”  
  
Keith is already thundering towards his room, knocking Lance with his shoulder on the way out. 

 _So much for the progression that they were making_. 

He can feel fresh tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and his teammates follow suit, their anger not as palpable as Keith’s.  
  
But they were right, he _did_ fuck up today. He got too confident, too cocky in his skills and his lion. It backfired, and he learned his lesson in the most brutal manner. In fact, he was _still_ learning. Keith and Allura had been screaming at him for at least ten minutes before Shiro had exited the Black Lion’s hangar to diffuse the situation.  
  
The team filters out, leaving only Lance and Shiro lingering in the empty hallway. The discomfort was already settling, the younger feeling extremely self-conscious as he stood alone with Shiro.  
  
He shouldn’t be as afraid as he is right now; he and Shiro have been romantically involved for almost a year, if not pining for even longer. But upon rethinking, he wonders if he’s _meant_ to be afraid. They’re dating, surely, but how is that supposed to make it better in the slightest? If anything it makes it _worse._ Who wants to get scolded by their boyfriend? Right, that’s what he thought. _No one does_.  
  
“Shiro, I’m—” Lance starts, ready to apologize for his sins, but a firm prosthetic hand stops all words from leaving his lips.  
  
“No, it’s okay.”  
  
_It’s not okay._  
  
“But Shiro…”  
  
“It was a mistake. We all make mistakes. I’m assuming you’ve learned your lesson, so I forgive you.”  
  
He blinks, confused by the sudden turn of events. This isn’t how he was expecting Shiro to react to the circumstances in the slightest. Lance prepared himself for yelling, not _this_. He was awaiting ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed,’ and shameful glares, not forgiveness in the slightest.  
  
“But I fucked up the _entire mission_ , Shiro! How can you not be upset right now?! This is probably the seventh time I’ve done this without learning, and you’re choosing to forgive me?!”  
  
“I thought you would be happy about this…not the other way around.” Shiro takes a step closer to him, reaching out, “Are you okay?”  
  
“No Shiro! I’m not okay! I’m, I’m--”  
  
“Lance, _Lance,_ relax, it’s not that big of a deal.”  
  
“We could have _died_ , Shiro!”  
  
“ _Lance_.”  
  
Shiro’s touch immediately eases Lance’s mind, just as it always had. Shiro has this warm, inviting touch that does powerful things to Lance. Whether he was homesick, plain sad, angry, or worked up like he currently is, a single caress from Shiro would bring him down from whatever he was feeling.  
  
But despite the slight calm of his waves, his heart still whirrs about with the same shame and anger. Mostly directed towards himself due to the error of his ways yet another time. Lance knew exactly what he was doing, and how to change it, but he _wasn’t_. He’s not sure why he can’t just stop, be mature in the moment when they needed him to be, and work so the entire team functions like the well-oiled machine they _should_ be.  
  
“I…I guess I’m just confused?”  
  
Shiro nods understandingly, rubbing reassuring circles on his arm.  
  
“I’ve literally been the worst these past two weeks, and nothing’s improved and it just _sucks_.”  
  
“Lance, you have to forgive yourself for your mistakes…you’re not perfect.”  
  
“What does forgiving myself have to do with any of it? It’s not like it helps me perform any better, I just keep doing the same shit…”  
  
“Well if you’re beating yourself up, that’s not good either.”  
  
He’s right but Lance calls bullshit on the claim, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.  
  
“There’s no correlation between the two. Me forgiving myself has nothing to do with me performing better. It’s the _change_ , not just looking for an out so I don’t have to worry about it anymore.”  
  
“Lance, it has _everything_ to do with performing better. You need to acknowledge the mistakes you make before you can move on--”  
  
“Shiro, I’m fine. All is forgiven, or whatever…”  
  
“Lance.”  
  
He tries to turn away, exhausted from the conversation and desiring the embrace of his bedsheets, but Shiro’s death grip on his arm stops him from doing anything else. Defying his indirect order, he tugs at his arm in an attempt to get free, but Shiro is firm in his command.  
  
“My room,” he orders, “come comfortable.”  
  
“Comfortable?” Lance questions but Shiro’s already disappearing into his room, “wha…”  
  
“Be there!”  
  
The door makes it’s obnoxious whooshing sound, shutting behind him.  
  
“What does that even mean?” He mutters, loitering for a while longer before walking to his room and ultimately following Shiro’s orders. The armor takes more than his usual effort to come of, Lance having to physically pry it off of himself. Why it was more of a struggle is something he didn’t bother to delve deep into. Perhaps it was a coincidence, karma, he doesn’t know.  
  
Once the armor lays abandoned on the floor, Lance stretches, bending backward as the bones in his back crack satisfyingly. Humming pleasurably, he reaches into the small drawer by his closet and pulls out a pair of lounge pants and the only shirt he brought from Earth.  
  
He rolls his shoulder as he exits his bedroom, padding over to Shiro’s quarters, where the older man awaits his presence. Lance stops himself before entering, taking a deep breath and preparing himself for whatever Shiro has planned for them. The man was mysterious as much as he was straightforward, which didn’t make sense to someone that hasn’t spent long nights in bed with him, talking each other’s ears off.  
  
With timid steps, he enters the Black Paladin’s room (which had always been bigger than the other paladins), swallowed by darkness just as quickly as he’d entered.  
  
“Shiro,” Lance’s voice wavers with questioning, “why aren’t there any lights on?”  
  
He jumps out of his skin, a sensation that matches Shiro’s fingertips crawling up his right arm.  
  
“Shiro,” he breathes, heart growing heavy as the touches advance to his collarbones, “I can’t see you.”  
  
“I don’t want you to see me.”  
  
His voice is low, husky and near a whisper as his prosthetic snakes underneath the hem of his shirt, cold metal dragging against his contrastingly heated golden skin. The tone of his voice is all too familiar.  
  
“Oh,” Lance sighs, voice faltering once Shiro pushes him up against him.  
  
“Comfortable?” Shiro asks, and the latter nods abruptly.  
  
“Yes,” he responds, exhaling from his open mouth.  
  
“Good,” The older man continues his movements, “Now, I love you. You know that?”  
  
He blinks, unsure if he heard the older man correctly.  
  
“You…what?”  
  
“You heard me,” his voice still hasn’t raised above a whisper, “I love you.”  
  
So he had heard correctly. He was sure that he was going to be the one to drop the L word first, being that Lance was always more open and expressive with his love for Shiro. To hear it fall from his lips first was something Lance didn’t expect. He was expecting to fight his lover to say the beloved words back, to have to prove why he deserved to be loved.  
  
Perhaps it’s why he couldn’t bring himself to believe it once it was out in the open.  
  
“Why?” Lance asks, desperate in his inquiry.  
  
Shiro’s hands stop, sensual touches halting at the mention of doubt in his affection for the blue paladin.  
  
“What do you mean why?”  
  
“I mean, _why?_ ”  
  
“You don’t believe me?”  
  
“I just don’t get it…”  
  
“Do you not love me?”  
  
“No of course not, I do,” Lance’s eyes squeeze shut though he still sits in the darkness, “I love you too Shiro, I’ve loved you for so long, but it’s not hard to fall in love with you. It’s _easy_ if anything. You put others before yourself while still managing to take care of yourself, you have an open mind and an open heart, you’re just…you’re _Shiro._ ”  
  
“And you? You’re—”  
  
“I’m _Lance_.”  
  
And maybe Lance just dived into a place that he’d never want to discover, or seek out. The mission going wrong could have sparked the flame to his insecurities that he fought to keep under wraps, sure, but Shiro’s confession of love simply made him feel worse. He wasn’t worthy. He couldn’t get past the trepidation, but he also knew he couldn’t subject Shiro to his pity party any longer.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he starts, “it’s not you, it’s--”  
  
“Stop. Let me show you.”  
  
“Show me?”  
  
Before he can pick apart what Shiro truly meant by those words, his palms are back on his body, underneath his shirt and right above his collarbones once more. He hums, biting down on his lower lip as he twists his hips up at the sensation.  
  
Shiro’s the only one that can turn his switch on like this, have him trembling at his every caress and sweet word. Despite his inner turmoil, pleasure racked his body.  
  
“Shiro…ah…”  
  
“Already breathless,” he chuckles, pressing a wet kiss on his neck, the goosebumps already rising against Lance’s skin, “so beautiful, just breathtaking…”  
  
Lance’s eyes flutter shut, cock already twitching in interest at the hands of his lover. God this _always_ , happened. It doesn’t take long for him to fall apart when Shiro catches him in moments like these. He’s smart, strategic with his every move, every kiss, every clutch…  
  
“Turn,” he murmurs, and his lover bends at Shiro’s very will, spinning to crush their lips together. He claws at his clothed shoulder blades, which are already familiar with Lance’s sharp fingernails, remnants of wild nights of passion resting in the form of scars.  
  
Their lips slide together, slowing as the desire to come together flows out of the both of them steadily. It turns into a more arousing kiss, Lance pulling away occasionally to breathe against Shiro’s lips (it drives him _wild_ ), hands moving to curl themselves in his unruly undercut, cusps of his hair already sticking to his forehead.  
  
“Pick me up,” He whispers and Shiro obliges, firmly gripping his ass and carrying him to the bed, where he drops him carefully. Giggles burst from his core as his back lands on the bed, watching Shiro’s silhouette with excited eyes as he hears the unbuckling of his belt and the distinct sound of his pants hitting the floor.  
  
“I can’t see you, but I love what I’m hearing,” he grins deliciously as he senses Shiro’s body slotting in between the familiar space between his open legs. He hums happily as human knuckles run against the skin on his cheek.  
  
“I love your voice,” Shiro places his compliments in strategically, and Lance is glad enough that it’s too dark to spot a blush anywhere.  
  
“Oh god…”  
  
“And I love the fact that I can _tell_ that you’re blushing even though I can’t see you.”  
  
“Mmm Shiro _please_ , not now…”  
  
“If not now, then when? Kind of defeats the purpose of what I’m trying to accomplish.”  
  
“What _are_ you trying to accomplish?”  
  
“Showing you I love you. I thought we went over this?”  
  
“ _Shiro_. _”_  
  
His hand cards through Shiro’s mussed hair, admiring the way it feels under the pads of his fingers as he gently massages the back of his head. Grey eyes shut, pushing back into Lance’s hand.  
  
“Gonna do something, stud?”  
  
Shiro reopens his eyes, eyebrow raised and a charismatic smirk painted upon his features. Suddenly, lips tease his neck, pressing down gently until he decides to get rough, biting and leaving what are going to be prominent hickeys on his skin.  
  
“You’re the something,” he growls, nipping at his earlobe as dexterous fingers drag his sweatpants down his slender hips, flinging them to the said without aim as his attention turns to his thighs, meaty and in need of marks.  
  
“Mmm, Shiro…”  
  
“Sh sh,” he mumbles, voice muffled as he squishes his head between Lance’s legs, already squeezing shut at the pleasure shooting up his veins. Shiro pauses while sinking down to look up at his flustered lover through his eyelashes. A shudder travels through his body, the eye contact with him doing indescribable things to his body.  
  
“Good?” He asks, wrapping his arm around his thigh and holding on tightly. Lance nods helplessly, throwing his head back into the cream colored pillows. At a deathly slow pace, a wet tongue presses inside of him, exotic as much as Shiro’s mouth is still strikingly familiar down there.  
  
“Hnngh…h— _oh_ ,” His voice breaks, dropping like broken flowers petals on the ground as Shiro begins his work, ravishing Lance’s body with his every functioning limb.  
  
His mouth delves further into his hole, eating him out plentifully as his hands massage Lance’s thighs, jerking with every jolt of pleasure that unrolls. His hips grind down, craving more than he can handle.  
  
“Mmm,” Shiro’s voice buzzes from within him and Lance moans, rough as he tugs on the loose strands of his mangled hair.  
  
“More, faster, god _something_ ,” he huffs, chest rising and falling dramatically. His lover places himself underneath him, the left side of his body braces upon Shiro’s shoulder. His tongue returned back where it was, along with two fingers and Lance was falling apart shortly. The new angle was _better_ , managing to drag more out of him.  
  
“ _Fuck_ , Shiro, _hmmm_.”  
  
Steadily, Lance begins to bounce down on Shiro’s face as he steadily fucks him with tongue. But as good as it felt (better than other times as well), he’s still yearning for bigger, for what he _knows_ is better.  
  
“Feel good?” Shiro suddenly purrs from underneath and Lance bites down on his lip _hard_ , because his voice is too good during sex, raspy and deep and dominant and perfect.  
  
The sensations creeping up and down his body are so extravagant, he could cry.  
  
And then he is.  
  
“Lance?” Shiro’s voice rises from sexy and ominous to concerned, hands racing to wipe the tears from his eyes.  
  
“How did you even know I was crying?” He laughs sadly and the latter chuckles, amazed.  
  
“I can _hear_ you, babe…”  
  
“Everything’s fine,” he sighs, laying back and swiping at his tears, “it’s perfect, better than it’s ever been. I’m so turned on, but I’m also burning in your affection and it’s _so good_.”  
  
“Lance…”  
  
“I don’t know how the hell you’re putting up with this.” He laughs, but a kiss planted on his cheeks quells his voice.  
  
“Because I love you,” Shiro repeats, and this time Lance _feels_ it. The words tattoo themselves on his heart, and as Shiro’s face rests beside his, lips pecking his skin, he allows it. He allows Shiro to love him, without understanding why.  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
“Mmm, are you ready?”  
  
He nods, thumb running across Shiro’s jaw,  
  
“Do you have stuff still?”  
  
“Pretty sure this is the last one,” He sighs, reaching across Lance’s sweaty body to fish out their bottle of lube and a fresh condom, “we’re gonna have to restock soon.”  
  
“Another space mall trip?” Lance teases as Shiro gets ready, slipping the condom down his massive length and pooling lube into his hands.  
  
“Maybe _without_ the extended time in our lions?”  
  
“You liked doing it in the lion. I _refuse_ to believe you didn’t.”  
  
“We’ll debate that later,” Shiro towers over him again, “but I really wanna be inside of you right now.”  
  
_Fuck._  
  
“Okay, you’re good,” Lance steadies his breathing just as Shiro presses inside, sliding his length in with ease. He keens, rising as the black paladin rests a hand on his stomach.  
  
“Oh fuck,” Shiro breathes, “shit, babe…”  
  
Needy hands grip his forearms as he bottoms out, filling Lance and his satisfaction to the brim.  
  
“Ah _shit_ , you feel bigger every fucking time.”  
  
His breath is ragged as he adjusts to Shiro’s girth. It’s almost as if he’s brand new, but the familiar warmth tells him otherwise.  
  
“Ready?” Shiro begs, straining and twitching against Lance’s body. Palms course down his lover’s scarred back as he nods and consents to movement.  
  
“Mhm, yeah, move please.”  
  
He starts gentle, rocking his hips in and out at a steady pace so both of them can ease into it, but Lance gets bored quickly, pushing down against Shiro faster.  
  
‘Faster’ and ‘harder’ spills out many more times than once, orgasm so close but so far away. Lance is hot and sticky, worn out with love. Hickeys litter his golden brown skin mouth agape as Shiro picks up the pace, fucking into him harder and faster just as he commanded. His body jolts as his boyfriend hits his prostate with ease, so intimate with Lance’s body he doesn’t need to search for what he needs to find any longer.  
  
Shiro’s prosthetic hand entwines with Lance’s pinning it above his head as he leans down to bring them together in a searing kiss.  
  
“So beautiful,” he growls against his parted lips, “so lovely, god you overwhelm me, baby I--”  
  
Lance doesn’t last much longer after he brings their hands together, his finish coiling and uncoiling before he can even warn Shiro. A couple sputters and a low whine are all he gets out before he’s reaching the peak of his climax. Cum decorates their bare torsos and some splatters against Shiro’s chin as he chases his own orgasm, using Lance’s body to finish into the condom as he comes down from his high, motionless in the bed.  
  
Shiro collapses beside him as soon as the condom is tied and thrown to the side. They heave in and out of sync, desperate to catch their breaths as the mood of the room calms.  
  
A few minutes later, Lance feels arms around his waist, relaxed as they squeeze his stomach.  
  
“Hello,” he hums, eyes closed as sleep starts to overtake him.  
  
“Hi,” a hearty response follows, a soft kiss placed on his shoulder.  
  
“Thank you,” Lance turns to connect their lips, drawing a line against Shiro’s lip with his tongue before pulling away, “you’re so good to me.”  
  
“It’s cause I love you,” Shiro murmurs, kissing back promptly, “no matter how many mistakes you make. I forgive you, the team will forgive you, and you should too.”  
  
“I’ll try,” he smiles effortlessly, “I can promise you that much.”  
  
“As long as you try. That’s all I could ever want from you.”  
  
Shiro doesn’t let go of Lance’s hand, even after he falls asleep. Lance takes note of it, smiling and squeezing his limp palm before falling asleep himself.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed reading! sorry, it took so long, was a challenge to get this right ;-;
> 
> you can follow my tumblr [sheith-keef](https://sheith-keef.tumblr.com/) here, and the main page for [shiro loves you baby](https://shirolovesyou-baby.tumblr.com/) here.


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